M-whY

Tourism is a huge part of New Zealand's way of life. Lots of signs for nearby attractions are on the motorways, where ever you go. As hard as I try to save money, I feel like I'm constantly reaching for my wallet and pulling out a new $20 bill.

We signed up for a brief, 45 minute, tour of the Waitomo Caves glowworms. The glowworms are not really worms, they're actually larvae of the fungus gnat, an insect similar in appearance to the mosquito. They spend most of their lifespans in the larval stage, clinging to ceilings of caves and dangling a thin thread. Insects that fly into the cave are attracted to the faint green light of the glowworms, are caught in the thread, and consumed as food. When food is scarce, glowworms are sometimes known to even eat their neighbors!

Tours ran every half hour. Our tour consisted of mostly older retired folk. We must've just arrived after the AARP tour bus. The group was herded through the cave, our guide providing a commentary about various limestone formations. We finally reached the underground stream where we would get into large metal boats and observe the glowworms. I thought the old people moved slow down the stairs; loading the boats took forever!

Floating down the stream, looking above, and seeing thousands of tiny green lights was amazing. Unreal. Better than stargazing. My only complaint is the ride was too short. (Photography is strictly prohibited in the cave, so the picture you see above is stolen from some other website.)

We smelled Rotorua well before we arrived. The region's thin crust and highly active geothermal activities gave the entire town a rotten egg smell. A town where you can fart all you want and no one would notice.

Maori people, native inhabitants of New Zealand, had a strong presence in this area, probably because of the abundance of hot springs. The information at the town center offered several different Maori cultural performances. Several were held in town in convention centers. There was one run by Tamaki Maori Village, which entertained in supposedly authentic Maori village. I figured it would be well worth the higher price tag, so I booked it.

It's never fair to knock something you haven't tried, but having paid $80 NZ ($1 NZ = $.70 US) for this unsatisfying experience, I feel I've earned the right to tear it apart.

The first sign this was more a commercial event than a cultural event was when several busloads of people were dropped off at the venue. Several Maori 'warriors' came out and performed a Powhiri
(a formal welcome). The warriors went through several 'intimidating' gestures, which were somewhat comical, with their tongues sticking out and their bulging eyes. With the large crowds that they had brought, sightlines were blocked and it was difficult to take any decent pictures. Afterwards, we were led into the courtyard, which felt more like a movie set than an authentic Maori village. We observed Maori people reciting chants and demonstrating hand games and weaponry displays. After wandering this circus for a while, we were ushered into the Wharenui (The Big House) where our hosts performed several traditional dances and songs. Not bad, but the Wharenui itself had a 'built for the occasion' feel to it. And I really doubt authentic Maori dances really were accompanied by modern day lighting effects.

The one redeeming part of the whole night was the food. While we dined in a state of the art cafeteria, the specially prepared hangi was excellent. Hangi is tradional Maori cuisine, where meat and veggies are heated for hours in an earth oven. Food was served buffet style, and we were encouraged to eat as much as we wanted.

I did my best to eat my $80 NZ worth.

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