M-whY

Then I realized how stupid it was to let some website dictate my travel plans. As much as I enjoy keeping people entertained with my adventures, a few days without updates wouldn't hurt anyone. And so once again, I found myself at the airport, purchasing a last minute plane ticket and flying to Chiang Rai.

(In retrospect, I probably should've put up a small note indicating I'd be "missing" for a few days. But at the time, I didn't think a couple weeks without updates would cause any concern.)

Deer's family again welcomed me back so warmly that I felt like I had returned home. The house was livilier than usual. In addition the the usual cast of characters, two of her sisters who had been living in Bangkok had returned home. The language barrier continued to be a problem, but Deer was never too far away, so I never felt too uncomfortable.

Living in Thailand, in a small town where nothing was in english, felt very different from life in my apartment back home. It was an entirely different culture. Relationships within the family were governed along social ranks determined by age, wealth, status, and power. Deer, despite being the youngest of several siblings, seemed to sit at the head of the family. Her nephews and nieces did all the grunt work, including cleaning, food preparation, and running errands. Being her guest, I recieved the same, if not more, pampering. Someone got up and refilled my glass anytime I ran out of water without me saying anything. When I tried helping with clearing away dishes, I was encouraged to just relax and let them handle it. Heck, I could've sat on my hands during mealtimes, and food would be placed in my mouth.

But it wasn't like I just sat around and got fat all day long. There was a lot of work to be done. Ever since Deer's father passed away a few years ago, she had shouldered the burden of taking care of her family. She certainly earned more than the average Thai person, but as the sole breadwinner for a large extended family, much of her earnings went towards supporting relatives. Rather than work herself to death for the rest of her life, she had decided to use her money to get her sisters on their feet. To do so, she had conceived of the idea of opening a massage parlor near her home for her two sisters from Bangkok to work in. Both were trained masseuses who used to work on Khao San Road, but would now have their own businesses.

And so there was a lot of driving, back and forth between Phaya Mengrai and Chiang Rai, purchasing mattresses, fans, and decorative furniture to furnish the new shop. Deer picked up the check for everything. Watching the effort, devotion, and money she put into helping her family, I became that much more enamored with her. Seriously, how many of us would reach into our pockets and commit a significant portion of our earnings to open a business for a relative?

Finally, it was opening day, and relatives and friends from all over came to take part in the occasion. Several monks were invited to bless the building, and we were in business. Deer and I would be the first two customers. We would get free massages in later dates, but to bring good luck in the future, we both tipped generously the first time.

"Thank you!" they exclaimed as we handed her sisters their first payment in their new shop.

It was a pretty big event for the family. At least 20 relatives were on hand, and throughout the day, several friends would drop by to take part in the occasion. I seemed to attract a lot of attention, and I pestered Deer for translations whenever I had the feeling I was the topic of conversation. In the end though, I found myself relating to a six month old baby girl the best.

"You and I are the only two who has no idea what everyone else is talking about," I told her.

She responded by slobbering all over me.

While we were getting an oil massages one morning, Deer leaned over and told me, "I have good news. One of my nieces had her baby last night. We are going to Chiang Kham this afternoon to visit."

After lunch, several of us piled into the car, and drove an hour to the hospital where the new mother was still resting.

"What do you think we should name the baby?" asked Deer on the way.

The baby's real name would of course be left to the mother and father to decide, but his nickname (just as 'Deer' is just a nickname) would be a group decision.

"I don't know..."

"How about James Bond?" she said, referring to the James Bond Island, where we had first met.

I laughed, thinking it was just a joke, but she seemed to like the ring to it. When we arrived at the hospital (where for the first time I held a 13 hour old infant in my arms), she suggested it to a couple other people, Thai-ifying it so that it sounded more like 'Jame Bon', and to my surprise everyone else liked it too. All except the mother, who of course, had something else in mind. Whether she would eventually cave in to pressure, I still don't know. But if the idea goes through, I can't imagine what sort of teasing the poor kid is going to go through while growing up.

One night, right as we were getting ready for sleep, one of Deer's cell phones started ringing. This by itself wasn't a big surprise. As I've mentioned before, her phones rang constantly, and at all hours of the day. When she answered though, I could tell something wasn't right.

"Jo just got into a car accident," she told me, referring to one of her friend. I had met her several times already, and remembered her as the hairdresser who always had something to say. Sitting in a car with her was never boring; Her mouth literally ran non stop.

We quickly got into the car and started driving. In 20 minutes, we saw her waiting by the side of the road, accompanied by a couple motorcyclists who had stopped to help out. What had happened was that Jo had fallen asleep at the wheel, and her truck had drifted off the road into a ditch. She seemed to be in okay condition. A bit shaken, but with nothing more than a few cuts and bruises. To be sure her injuries were only superficial, we played ambulance and took her to the nearest hospital, where the doctor looked over her and concluded a few days rest was all that would be needed. He was right. Within two days, she was back to her talkative self.

July 15th rolled around, and it was finally time to leave. Deer would be heading back to Bangkok to attend some business meetings, and I would once again hit the road and visit Cambodia, as I've always intended to do. Despite having only spent a few days here, I had pretty much become part of the family. Leaving felt a bit sad, since I had no idea when I'd return again. Six months? Six years? And what would become of Deer and I? Who knows. For now, all I can do is look back and say that she has made my time in Thailand most memorable.

Thanks to everyone for their support and comments! Knowing people are reading keeps me motivated to continue the updates!