M-whY

Widely followed in Thailand, I figured taking in a fight would be a worthwhile thing to do. I arrived at Lumpini Boxing Stadium about half an hour before gates opened. In the front were a group of people wearing shiny jackets and with official stadium representative badges around their necks. I'm not sure what tipped them off I wasn't Thai; Normally I blend in pretty well. But I guess I just didn't act natural enough, as one of them approached me and handed me tonight's fight card printed in English. He then began to try and sell me tickets at what I thought were really inflated prices. 2,000 baht to sit ringside, 1,500 for regular seats, and 1,000 for the third tier.

"I can give you a discount on the VIP seats," he kept telling me. "10 discount, 1,800 baht."

I had been warned of blatant overcharging of foreigners, and this definately felt like a scam. If it was though, the whole stadium seemed to be in on it. The ticket booths were segregated into lines for Thai and lines for foreigners. 'Representatives' determinedly steered all tourists to the latter, and pulled aside anyone who tried hopping into the cheaper line.

"Thank you, but I'm waiting for my friend to show up first," I told the guy intent on 'helping' me. After he had gone off to pester someone else, I walked up to the ticket booths to figure out whether there was a way to get around this elaborate scheme. I was positive the Thais were paying anything close to those figures.

I wasn't the only one put off by this two tier pricing structure.

"You're charging me 1,000 baht just because I'm white? Bullshit!" I heard a man exclaim as he angrily stormed off.

I sat around trying to get an idea of how much the locals were paying. It appeared that they were only being charged 200-300 baht per person. And the more I observed, the more I realized I just might be able to beat this crooked system. My inability to speak Thai wouldn't be an problem. People just plunked down the money and were given a ticket. Trusting that my Thai appearance wouldn't fail me, I pretended I knew what I was doing and got in the Thai line.

I handed the guy a 500 baht note. He handed me my ticket and 270 baht in change. Hey, that wasn't that hard!

Then I started screwing up. While waiting for the doors to open, I started talking to a couple caucasian tourists.

"How much did you pay for your ticket?" they asked me.

"230 baht I think. I just got in line and no one stopped me. You?"

"We haven't bought ours yet. I knew the Thais weren't being charged as much as us!"

"I wonder if it's just those guys in jackets that are trying to rip us off. You could probably just get in line too."

"They'd probably catch us, we kind of stand out. Hey, would you mind seeing if you could buy our tickets for us?"

I figured there was no harm in doing so, and in fact, I was quite willing to help a couple more people overcome this unfairness. Two more times, I got in line, and two more times, I came away with tickets.

"Hey, thanks a lot."

By now people had started entering the stadium, and so the three of us proceeded to entrance. I handed them my ticket, they took it, and waved me on. My two new friends weren't so lucky. Apparently, 'tourist' tickets look different, and they were denied admission. Having made our approach together, I was suddenly under scrutiny too. People started talking to me in Thai, and when I couldn't articulate a response, my cover was blown.

They pointed at our tickets. "Thai only," they said, and sent us back to the ticket counters.

The two other guys really didn't have a choice, and allowed themselves to be cheated out of 1,000 baht. I wasn't quite ready to give in.

"I'm going to give it another shot," I told them, and waited around a few minutes before trying again. They didn't seem to notice I was the same guy who tried to slip past them the first time, and I made it all the way in. I was congratulating myself on my cleverness when I made my last fatal mistake.

Instead of disappearing into the crowd like I should've, I caught up with my two friends were hanging out near the entrance.

"Did you make it?" they asked.

"Yeah," I grinned.

A ticket collector noticed what I was doing, and shouted something to get my attention. I tried ignoring him, but he came up to me and again started quizzing me in Thai. I smiled, nodded at regular intervals, but it didn't take long for him to realize I really had no clue what he was saying.

Something something, he kept repeating, and began ushering me back out the gates. Damn! I had almost made it this time too! He led me to an information counter, where a woman with a better grasp of english explained that I needed to buy a foreigner ticket.

I think everyone was more amused than anything else at my exploits, as they were all smiles when dealing with me. Still, I found the double standard grossly unfair. This wasn't the first attraction I've been to where domestic and international visitors were charged different prices, but usually the prices were cheap enough that it didn't matter. 1,000 baht is a lot of money, relatively speaking, and I wasn't going to be paying that if I didn't have to.

I tried passing myself off as a new resident of Thailand, who had just arrived and was in the process of learning Thai, to which she responded by asking me for my ID card.

"I left it at home, I didn't bring it because last time it wasn't checked."

"Sorry," she just smiled.

After not getting anywhere for about ten minutes, I finally gave in and paid for the costlier ticket. A little annoyed, even though I knew every other foreigner had also been fleeced, I took my place and tried my best to enjoy the show.

Muay Thai rounds last five minutes each, and a fight is comprised of three rounds. Before each fight, the boxers perform some sort of ritualistic dance in the ring. During the fight, pretty much anything goes. Punches, kicks, knees, elbows... they were all legal moves. The only thing not allowed are headbutts and strikes to the groin area. As macho as that sounds, I found the bouts quite dull. Matches were separated by weight class, and many of the fighters didn't look that big. It wasn't like I'd be afraid to get into the ring with them.

The whole atmosphere though was something worth experiencing. Dark and dirty, it was hard to imagine that this was one of the two premier boxing stadiums in the country. I was standing in the 'cheap' seats (I noticed that the only people sitting ringside where foreigners), where the majority of the Thai population stood. They followed the fights intensely, not because they were rooting for their favorite boxers, but because they all had placed bets with bookies wandering the grounds. I also would've liked to have have put down some money, however, figuring out the betting system which relied on a series of complicated hand gestures and implicit agreements proved to be impossible.

I had actually seen enough by the fifth or sixth fight, but having been stung by the steep admission prices, I vowed to stick around til the end. The skill level increased and the boxers became more imposing as the night went on. Matches though, remained decided by points. No knockouts, which made it really hard for me to get excited about anything. One particular fight featured several impressive takedowns and blows to the head, causing the crowd to roar with approval. Things got so hectic that a melee even broke out in the stands, near where I was standing. Security personnel, who stood around in case of situations like this, quickly got in between the two perpetrators and escorted them out of the building. But again, the decision in the ring came at the hands of the judges. I wanted to see someone get their ass kicked!

In the past, before it became a regulated sport, Muay Thai was fought without protective gear and gloves. Hands were wrapped simply in some cloth, covered in some sticky syrup, and dipped in bits of glass to ensure a bloody outcome. Before the headliner, an exhibition (sans glass) was given, probably for the benefit of the tourists. Yes, it was entertaining, but I couldn't help feeling like the whole thing was scripted. The moves were a little too spectacular to be real.

Finally, after about three hours, it was time for the main event. This had better be good, I thought to myself. It started out really disappointing. Much like the previous fights, it was a very defensive struggle. A couple takedowns, few knees to the midsection - that was about it. Even the crowd didn't feel as hyped up as they should've been.

Then it came. Sometime in the middle of the second round. A vicious right hook to the head, and the guy from the red corner dropped. The referee bent over the the fallen man for a few seconds, then stood up proclaiming the fight over. Blue celebrated as a stretcher was brought into the ring to carry off the loser. It all happened so fast that I think it caught everyone off guard. A delayed ovation, and the whole stadium rocked.

Talk about saving the best for last. Now that's what I came to see!

Thanks to everyone for their support and comments! Knowing people are reading keeps me motivated to continue the updates!