M-whY

I woke up a little sore in the legs, but feeling otherwise okay. Sitting around in the courtyard, eating breakfast, should've been relaxing, except I was constantly called upon to play translator for Mama and her guests. Switching gears between chinese and english is a taxing exercise; By mid morning, I was mentally fatigued.

Rather than retire to my room and watch TV all day, I hooked up with an Argentine girl, Mercedes, and an Israeli couple, whose names I can't remember, to see some of the sights nearby. Mama, in tune with the budget travel attitude of backpackers, told us which attractions would be cheapest. Lijiang isn't a major stop in my trip - I was only here because of Tiger Leaping Gorge - and there was no point in making it a 500 yuan day.

The four of us hired a driver to take us on a preset itinerary. First stop was Dongba Village, supposedly a place to witness and learn about Naxi culture. From the outside, it looked like an Epcot exhibit, full of 'fake' buildings and art. Very unappealing.

We looked at each other. "Does anyone want to go in?"

"No." "No." "Not really." It wasn't worth our time, much less our money.

"[Can you take us to the next place?]" I asked our driver.

Jade Water Scenic Area was much of the same. This time, we actually went in, realizing that if we skipped this too, our day would be half over, and we wouldn't have seen a thing.

"I bet they turn off the water at night," said the Israeli guy, as we walked past artificial waterfalls and lakes. In the back was the Heaven Incense Burner, which looked nice, but was as genuine as a Chinatown Rolex. The only thing real in the whole complex were the fish.

"I want to see something real, you know?" said Mercedes. "Like where people live. Not this." I totally agreed. I was beginning to regret staying here another day.

Baisha Village was much better. Sure, there was a tourist street lined with crafts and trinkets. Upon getting off the car, an old woman glued herself to Mercedes, trying to sell souvenirs. But at least it was possible to wander onto manure covered streets, where door gods were plastered on every entrance.

We ate lunch at a restaurant that locals deemed worthy to eat at. I ended up ordering for everyone, as the language barrier wasn't easy for the other three to overcome.

"It must be nice to be able to speak the language. That's been my biggest headache so far in China, trying to communicate with the people here," they all told me.

"Yeah, but at least they don't expect you to speak chinese. People here expect it of me. And sometimes, when they say some word I don't recognize... well, then I look like a real fool."

I tried some sort of gelatin dessert from a street vendor, which didn't agree with my taste buds and ended up in the trash. Afterwards, we sought out Dr Ho, aka the 'Taoist physician in the Jade Dragon Mountains of Lijiang.' Ever since travel writer Bruce Chatwin did a piece on him, he's achieved worldwide recognition. In front of his clinic were frames and frames of news stories, accolades, and business cards from all around the globe. When we arrived, he and his son brought out cups of (nasty) tea and even more press clippings. It seemed a little bigheaded, but then again, when you've reportedly cured leukemia with herbal treatments and have papers from the Mayo Clinic to prove it, I suppose you've earned the right.

"So... what do you think?" I whispered to Mercedes as he disappeared inside, presumably to fetch more bragging material.

"I don't know... Not all these can be fake right?" International Leaders of Achievement, 500 Leaders of Influence, Most Admired Man of the Decade... it was quite a resume.

The Israeli girl ended up having a private consultation on behalf of her mother, and was prescribed two packets of herbs. She was charged 200 yuan, but noted that if it actually worked, she'd be back to give him all her money. I too might've put his reputation to the test, except I was feeling perfectly fine. I did have a few pesky mosquito bites... but those would go away on their own.

Black Dragon Pool Park has probably the most obligatory photo shoot of Yunnan province, except today, the weather was too hazy for photography. So we skipped that and headed back to Mama's. In summary, the day wasn't too interesting, and I probably could've made better use of my time staying at the guesthouse playing interpreter. Lijiang doesn't impress me at all. Why did I stay again? Oh, that's right. Dinner. At least something lived up to its billing today.

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