M-whY

I flagged down three taxis before finding a driver that understood me.

"Airport? Matar?"

He nodded. "You speak Arabic?"

"No, just one word."

Whether his english was just as poor, or he had to concentrate on the road, there wasn't any more conversation after that. Not even any negotiation for fare; Apparently, you're just supposed to know how much it costs from point A to point B. Confident he knew what he was doing tailgating and cutting other drivers off, I sat back and watched Cairo's disorderly traffic, which, as far as what I've seen, only ranks as second worst.

So where is it worse? And while we're making comparisons, what are some of the other bests and worsts of my travels? Keep in mind that though I went around the world, I'm didn't even come close to seeing all of the world, and this compilation is far from global...

Worst Traffic: A ride through Cairo is an adventure, it's possible to sit in traffic for hours in Bangkok, but Hanoi takes the first award here. Actually, it's mayhem in both of Vietnam's main cities - crossing the street in Ho Chi Minh City can give you gray hairs too - but the onslaught of motorbikes in Hanoi left the most lasting impression. And the honking... Drivers honk when they turn a corner, when they make a U-turn, when they run a red light. When they pass someone, when someone passes them, when they think they might pass, or be passed. It's like war out there!

Best Beach: If New Zealand could solve its sandfly problem, I'm sure the bums would come flocking, but for now, I have to say Perhentian Islands have the best beaches I've seen. Jewel colored waters, beautiful stretches of sand, hammocks hanging from the trees. And being there in low season, I had it all to myself!

Best Food: Picking the best food is like picking a favorite supermodel. There are so many to choose from and they're all so delicious! I'm going to miss kangaroo steaks in Australia, little steamed buns in China, shish kebaps in Turkey, and so many more. Thai food really gets my mouth watering though. It's difficult to say what exactly defines Thai food: You have the curries of the south, the seafood near the shore, the mouth numbing chillis of the north. Plus the staples of pad thai and sticky rice. I'm afraid any Thai restaurant I go to from here on out is going to be a disappointment if they don't provide sticky rice!

Best UNESCO World Heritage Site: The field is stacked here. Yogyakarta in Indonesia had some fascinating rocks. The Great Wall of China is worth seeing more than once. The Pyramids of Egypt, despite the hassle, is something to behold. Cambodia's Angkor temples edge all of them out, and only by the slightest of margins, because there's just something surreal about seeing ruins overgrown with trees hundreds of years old.

Best Massage: I've noticed so far Southeast Asia has been sweeping the M-whY's. Let's continue the streak. Best massage goes to the blind masseuse from Seeing Hands in Cambodia. My decision could be influenced by the fact I had spent the days leading up clambering over the aforementioned Angkor temples, but if there was something like this near where I live in America, I'd be making daily visits whether I was sore or not!

Best Encounter with Wildlife: Coming across a king cobra in Malaysia was a thrilling moment, but it being only a baby sort of nerfed the encounter. (Then again, a king cobra's poison is supposedly deadly from the day it hatches from its egg...) Coming face to face with a wombat in Tasmania my favorite though, primarily because I got such a great photo out of it. They're like tiny bears and incredibly cute. It's a shame you see so many on the highways as roadkill...

Best Trek: New Zealand reigns king as far as natural beauty goes. Most people rave about South Island and say it's best to spend most of one's time there. But it'd be a shame to skip the North Island and miss out on the Tongariro Crossing. Craters with interesting features, lakes the color of emeralds, and a variety of different landscapes. I'm trying to think of the best word to describe it, but my vocabulary just isn't that good.

Best Activity: I'll be honest. Treks aren't really my cup of tea. I'd rather be taking twisties on a motorbike. Or racing down a bobsled track with the Latvian national team. The latter may have been the most exciting 49.609 seconds of my life!

Best Journey: Traveling overland takes time. Eight hours in the bed of a pickup truck over Khmer dirt roads. Twelve hours on a bus from Istanbul to Cappadocia. The 96 hour train from Ulaan Baatur (Mongolia) to Moscow makes everything else seem like a walk around the block though. I've dubbed it the Trans Mongolian Mall for all of the buying and selling that took place at the stops in between. I remember towards the end, I was dying to get off, but completing the mother of all train rides is something I can brag about for years to come.

Best (Hottest) Women: Maybe it's no coincidence that Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova are considered bombshells on the tennis circuit. Russia produces some very good looking specimens. And they make such a big deal about looking good. I mean, they're wearing skirts while I'm shivering under multiple layers!

Most Overrated: It's a subjective thing, but I found Bali the most disappointing. Kuta Beach was average as far as beaches went, the temple architecture is nothing to rave over, and the Balinese dances I attended were unauthentic performances. If I had to do it all over again, I would've skipped it and gone straight to Yogyakarta.

Best Country: If I had a nickel for each time someone asked me "What's your favorite country you've been to?", I'd have enough to finance another jaunt around the world. It's not an easy question to answer though. Are we talking about best food? Nicest people? Most scenic? I usually end up giving a noncommital answer. Every country is different, but I liked all of them and can't pick a favorite.

And usually that suffices. Most people won't press the subject further. I know it's a lame response though, so after giving some more thought to it, I've come up with a more satisfying answer.

It's the aim of most travellers to get off the beaten track, to connect with locals. There's something special about being somewhere few foreigners have been. I don't mean to disparage those on vacation packages who have just see the highlights and then move on; In limited time, you can only do so much, and it wouldn't make sense not see the Sydney Opera House when in Sydney. Immersing oneself in culture takes time, and in many places, there's a language barrier to overcome. Because I spent the longest period of time in China and am fluent in mandarin, I think I got the most out of the country. I had some interesting conversations with locals, on board trains, in taxis, and away from the cities. I'd like to share something I jotted down in my notes:

We were riding down a small bike trail in Yangshuo, site of those picturesque limestone peaks. She was a village girl, a year older than myself. I had hired her to be my guide. She wasn't asking much in payment, when I gave her the equivalent of US$6 for her day's work, she acted like it was a fortune. We got along well. Because I speak a bit of chinese, there was no language barrier between us.

It made me realize how people all live on the same planet, but we each live in our own worlds. When I go home, I'll return to the corporate America, sit in my cube, and wonder what car to buy when I save enough money. She'll still be stuck in rural China, guiding tourists when it strikes her mood, subsisting on just a couple dollars a day. Two different worlds: Mine is round, hers is still flat.

Final thoughts: Just take a look at the UNESCO World Heritage list and you can see how much more is out there. I only sampled a tiny bit of what is out there. I don't think it's possible for someone to visit all of them, but if someday I win a US$300 million Powerball lottery, I'll give it my best shot.

If that never happens, I'll still have plenty of stories to tell my kids and grandkids in the future. "C'mon dad, you've told us about the Trans Mongolian Mall like 300 times already," they might say, prompting me begin a new tale about the time I cycled drunk in Australia wine region, or the cyclops I met in Laos, or the Russian police scam I got caught in, or one of the many other unforgettable memories which I'll be able to recall in great detail, because I took the time to blog it all!

Thanks to everyone for their support and comments! Knowing people are reading keeps me motivated to continue the updates!